you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
