Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
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You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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