Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me

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  (586): If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me http://tfl.nu/rhnt
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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  (212): Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did! http://tfl.nu/gcyx
  Replies (26) Good night (3826) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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  (734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44
  Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (1674)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  god i miss watching you do this...

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  (612): so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim.. (507): god i miss watching you do this... http://tfl.nu/jwsv
  Replies (16) Good night (4885) Bad night (602)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.

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  (803): i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them. http://tfl.nu/cyia
  Replies (5) Good night (658) Bad night (4307) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.

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  (609): friends don't let friends hook up with gingers. http://tfl.nu/lykv
  Replies (174) Good night (6143) Bad night (2969) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?

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  (317): How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/0zg1
  Replies (84) Good night (1032) Bad night (8356) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds

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  (630): We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds http://tfl.nu/p9wa
  Replies (26) Good night (11674) Bad night (1604) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure

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  (214): Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure http://tfl.nu/kj79
  Replies (7) Good night (3298) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.

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  (709): I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea. http://tfl.nu/at1w
  Replies (16) Good night (1030) Bad night (2697) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.

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  (757): I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it. http://tfl.nu/htjg
  Replies (10) Good night (2991) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth

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  (239): All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth http://tfl.nu/rwpm
  Replies (9) Good night (624) Bad night (1564) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?

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  (913): My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot? http://tfl.nu/qatl
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

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  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
  Replies (15) Good night (1785) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.

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  (614): My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep. http://tfl.nu/ua0k
  Replies (12) Good night (2380) Bad night (368)

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