Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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