38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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