we have pet lesbian snakes
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize