note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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