FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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