The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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