am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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