so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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