break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
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Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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