she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Pooping to opera.
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