Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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