It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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