Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
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God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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