So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
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You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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