i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize