So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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