you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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