I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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