yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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