i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize