omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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