I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize