Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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