You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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