no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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