the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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