I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
