So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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