It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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