dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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