Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize