And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
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