i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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