i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
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It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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