when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize