if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize