All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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