i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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