You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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