I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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