she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize