it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize