there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize