Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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