I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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