If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize