I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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